Sunday, 7 November 2010

show me your love solar panel..

My  latest post on the slimey, predatorial and manipulative ways of the PUA got me thinking about all the conventional and slightly less so pick up lines that have been used on me.

I've decided to list the highlights for some light amusement, there are a couple which haven't been used on me directly but on friends and if they achieve anything, they certainly land a laugh or two...
  •  (A guy walks past and empties his glass all over the floor, glass falls all over the floor) - There we go, that breaks the ice, "Hi I'm Jack"
  • You're just like a parking ticket. You've got fine written all over you.
  • I keep wanting to tell you how beautiful you are from the tips of your toes to the top of your head, but I run out of breath everytime I look in your eyes
  • Is that a mirror in your pants or do I just see myself in them?
  • See this watch it's a magic watch, it tells me you've got no underwear on.. on hang on, its an hour fast
  • Do you believe in love at first sight or do you need me to walk past again?
  • There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
  • That's not a bald spot. It's a solar panel for a love machine.
  • How do you like your eggs, fried? poached? or fertilised?
  • Was your father a thief? Because he must of stolen the diamonds you have for eyes
  • Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?
  • If I was a squirrel would you let me store my nuts in your hole?
  • I want to know where you bought your clothes, because it has destiny written all over it
  • I was always dyslexic as a child, for some reason I keep putting U and I together

and my favourite - if I could nominate the 8th wonder of the world, it would be your breasts..


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