Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Chilean love triangles..

I'm sure I'm not the only one who watched with trepidation as the chilean miners were winched to safety today.  I got tingles just thinking about what it would be like being trapped down there for 69 days. But what didn't surprise me was how everything in life tends to boil down to the little things, well not little, but human things. Boy and girl things. There a more than a few broken hearts woven into this disaster, which unveiled a shed load of duplicity. Duplicity that makes alot a lot of women a bit scared. There wasn't just one miner who had his lover and wife turn up at the mine, there have been several who have had not just another lover, but two or three other lovers on the go at once, wives, girlfriends and mutliple children. I don't know about anyone else, but I find this as, if not more scary than being trapped in a rickety, old mine shaft. This is the sort of thing you used to read in movies or in books, but it's fast becoming a way in which we live.Telling different versions of the truth, to live a life or as many multiple lives as we like. 

Michael could be your boyfriend, a stock broker by day, escort user by weekends and S&M cyber chat addict in his downtime. He could also have his own dating website page just for hooking up with randoms. It's enough to make you cynical and bitter. Should you do a big old internet check on men before you make them your + 1, a pipl search to check their credit rating, a bit of facebook stalking? I think you could drive yourself crazy doing this, and in fact I have nearly done so with one guy I recently dated. P. He was older, more mature but secretive. I stayed at his, he stayed at mine. We became BF/GF, and started to see each other alot. But three nights a week, every week he wouldn't be free. He told me it was due to sport commitments. It wasn't. One night, I happened to be walking through a quiet area of bayswater with a friend when I saw him with her. They were out to dinner and she was wearing a ring, his ring.

Cest le vie. Sure I cried, sure I felt betryaed and hurt but I like to think of falling love as much the same as putting on a blindfold and taking a step. That step might be in any direction and it might lead to anywhere. There could be nothing below, but you have to take that step. You could fall, you could stumble. Or it could just be the softest grass you have ever walked on. Either way you have to have faith to do it. Some people might call me a sucker but I prefer the word idealist. Head in the sand? Maybe, but I'd rather have that, then it full of fears and insecurities prompting me to scroll through his phone looking for evidence. Will I do it again? Absolutely. Eyes blindfolded, hoping for the best and if I fall, well I've seen worse.

I'm sure if you asked any of these chilean women who have been betrayed and hurt by the whole affair, if they would take back the years and decisions they made with these men, a lot would say they have regrets, but would they regret falling in love with them? That instant they fell for them? I doubt it. Sure the hurt would kill, more than kill, it would cripple you right now. But that moment when you know. You really know, and it's so utterly terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. No I don't think anyone could ever regret that  moment, regardless of the heartbreak. In the midst of betrayl and broken trust there is always hope, hope for better days and better times... that and a box load of chocolate and I'm sure that won't be in short supply over there...

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