Saturday, 9 October 2010

wishing on the lottery and tooth fairies

As it is I can't help but feel a little bit frustrated today, I overhead two girls talking ont the tube this morning. One of them was bemoaning the fact that this guy was giving her the run around and not treating her properly. The other one, who had a wedding ring on with as much bling as she could muster without weighing her hand down to the pavement, kept reassuring her,   "Don't worry sarah, if its meant to be it will be, not to worry you'll meet the right guy,"

If one more person says that line in my earshot, or worse to me, I think I'll pick up a hundred 'hes just not that into books' and put them in a blender and serve it up to them as soup for dinner. Its not pleasant to hear all the time and hard to swallow, thank you very much.

I just love the way some people say you'll meet the right guy. It reminds me of the dedicated locals in my home time back in Aus, queing up for the lotto with their fingers crossed, repeating the mantra "one day, one day and woudn't it be nice". It's kind of akin to going to sleep one night and expecting the tooth fairy to leave a perfect man under your pillow in the morning. All you have to do when you wake up is to inflate via the hole in the butt, to make him full of air and hey presto, here's your man.

But don't get me wrong I'm not a bitter twisted singleton and frankly I think most single women in London have endured a bit of a bad rap. We are sometimes viewed as hostile towards men, like they are totalitarian states we must invade, conquer and control much like saddam hussein on a power trip but this is just not true. Sadam Hussain was a sadist, we are just after a cuddle with a man with a perfect penis.. hardly conquerers or dictators. If we want to talk about dictators, then perhaps its time to point out the biggest dictator out there is the male phallis dominates and influences men on a daily, if not hourly basis.

I can safely promise I've never had my vagina tell me what to do or that its compelled me to go and grab a guys ass and take him home only to tell him the next day that I have a boyfriend and he better go because he's coming down from liverpool today... But don't get me wrong I'm not bitter in the least, and nor am I a man hater..

rant completed

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